When my great-grandmother (Grammy) went beyond the convenience of in-home care and needed twenty-four-hour assistance, sadly, my grandmother (Nana) had to move her mom out and into a memory care facility. While it was a nice place, it was still heartbreaking as a seven-year-old to see my Grammy decline like that.
My mom, the eldest granddaughter, took on the role of caregiver for her beloved Grandma. With me in tow, we visited Grammy often and on a regular basis. My memories of my Grammy from then on were sad.
Even more depressing was the fact that my Grammy could no longer speak English and cried out often in Italian for her deceased son, Salvatore. I wouldn’t wish this slow death on my worst enemy. It broke the whole family’s hearts to watch this courageous woman go down like this, especially for my mom.
According to Alzheimer’s Society, “Alzheimer’s disease and other dementias have a deep impact not only those who are diagnosed, but also on the people who are closest to them. Family members have to take on different responsibilities when a relative is diagnosed with dementia. Sons and daughters of a parent with dementia may become caregivers and husbands and wives of the person with dementia see their roles change. They often find themselves in the role of primary caregiver.
As Alzheimer’s disease progresses, you or others in your family may find the changing roles tough to accept. It may become harder when roles change in some ways, but not in others. When this happens, it can lead to some confusion about how to act. It sometimes takes a while to figure out just who will do what,”.
Emotional trauma and memory loss
Grammy led a difficult, emotionally traumatic yet courageous life. When she was just seventeen years old, she boarded a boat in Sicily, slept in a cabin at the very bottom of the boat, where the poorest people stayed, and set sail for a better life in the United States of America, escaping the oppression of Mussolini’s fascist government.
Grammy’s boat reached land in New York and, like all European immigrants of that time, came through Ellis Island. All she brought with her was a single trunk with a few personal items, some clothes, five dollars, and the clothes on her back. While on Ellis Island, as she went through immigration paperwork, she was greeted by cousins who escorted her to Pennsylvania, where they lived.
She was supposed to stay with those cousins, but unfortunately, she was sold into a marriage with a bad man who mistreated her and forced her to have a child with him. The abuse went on for two years before she finally escaped and came to live with loving cousins here in Detroit, Michigan.
Regrettably, Grammy had to leave behind her two-year-old daughter with that horrible man, as that family said they would kill her if she tried to take her baby. Fortunately, in Detroit, she met the love of her life, my biological great-grandfather. They married and had a loving home where they had three children together.
Tragedy struck when my great-grandfather’s family made a deal with another family back in Sicily. They sold him off to this family as a husband for their daughter. He tried to fight and deny their request, but back in those days, you did not disrespect what the family ordered, nor were you allowed to say no.
Weeks later, they shipped my great-grandfather off to Sicily, where he was to marry the woman and bring her back to the U.S.A. When he came back, he left that woman as often as possible to be with the love of his life, my Grammy.
When that woman complained to her family and her new in-laws, my great-grandfather was told he was forbidden to see my Grammy. But his love for her wouldn’t let that happen, so he continued against their wishes. He did so until one day, when the family attempted to murder my Grammy and her children in a drive-by shooting.
Fortunately, they were unsuccessful, but Grammy did end up suffering a gunshot wound to her left eye, which caused immediate blindness. The doctors could not remove the bullet because if they did, it would explode in her brain. She lived with that bullet in her skull until the day she passed on.
From that day forward, my great-grandfather stopped coming around, and Grammy continued to raise her three children as a single mom. Sorrowfully, my great-uncle Salvatore was stricken with a childhood disease and died at the young age of thirteen.
But were these traumatic events the triggers of Grammy’s Alzheimer’s? Let’s see what the experts have to say.
Can emotional trauma cause Alzheimer’s
The University of California, Los Angeles, reports that, “According to Dr. Thames (April Thames, PhD, clinical neuropsychologist and professor of psychiatry at the Jane and Terry Semel Institute for Neuroscience and Human Behavior), there’s a risk for individuals with unresolved trauma of down-the-road brain disorders, including dementia. Dementia is a broad term for a decline in cognitive function severe enough to interfere with daily life. It is not a single disease but a general term that encompasses a wide range of specific medical conditions, including Alzheimer’s disease and other neurodegenerative diseases,”.
When Michigan was building the I-75 Freeway, they paid my Grammy a small lump sum of money (less than half of what it was worth) and bulldozed her treasured family home for the sake of progress. After which, my Nana, the good daughter she was, brought her mama home to live with her. Around this time, Grammy’s youngest son, Uncle Andy, disappeared, and no one ever found out what happened to him, despite despondently searching for answers.
Add two more tragedies to the list of what my Grammy endured in her lifetime.
How does Alzheimer’s affect grandchildren?
In conclusion, Alzheimer’s deeply impacts grandchildren, fostering resilience and empathy. Understanding and support are crucial in navigating these challenges as a family and for all generations affected.
